{KODOKU}

Thursday, April 23, 2009

title:{}

sad
i noe,
y cant it be me instead?
its not that i dun wan him to visit there
but
i guess i was just envious
jealous that y cant i do the same
caged here
damn it

5:07 AM;

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

title:{}

hmmm
havent been touching on any hmwks
so i'm skipping school?
though this week's a holiday
no questions so y go to school rite??
maybe when i have one
or when i finished reading the whole 1333 pages of physics
and done over 50 questions about it all =.=
my goodness
physics a killer

erm i dun think that i'm becoming positive enough
haha
but i think
i'll try to be more positive
aint worth being -ve all the time rite??

9:59 PM;

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

title:{}

so sleepy
today
i'm supposed to be heading to Australian Education Centres
but it was canceled & it cant be helped
as a result?
me, being a sleepy head throughout the entire day
*yawns*
i was finally able to get my hands on Twilight English version!
OMG!(you nvr noe how hard/expensive it is to get an English book over here)
heart-ache
thx to Clarissa!
(one hella rich kid i guess)
gd thing that she or her sister is so into Twilight
anyway i got a new kipling bag!
though i wanted a red crumpler or ********* (i frgt the name, blame it on my STM)
sigh
dunno wad else to say
but i still MISS my past
A LOAD

nevertheless, i'm very very grateful for each day that i'm still breathing
not ready to die yet, so i'm really happy to find that i'm still alive and kicking
-weird post?-

3:49 AM;

Sunday, April 19, 2009

title:{}

ahhhhh
sian
i'm not a walking chem guide ok???
even i have my weaknesses???
and this is a TEST
so shudnt there be no 'TEAMWORK' or wad so ever?
WHERE IS YOUR INTERGRITY?!
Urgh

oh man
i really really miss the time i spent in singapore
i really took things for granted i guess
as a result
i broke so many promises =(
wid xin ping, qiu yan, fidah, cherie, nad and anii
sigh
really sorry guys
even i wished to go back there n fulfil it all
but it doesnt seem possible =(

now i hate hols
i'd rather go back to school
n study
study
study
n study like mad
that'd get me out of this hell hole look alike?
hope so =/

7:08 AM;

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

title:{}

as i have promised
maybe i'll share abit about wad have been troubling me much
ever since i came back

i dunno how many of u ppl (if there's anyone visiting my blog)
noe the real reason y i came back to indo
i keep using the reason of "family problem"
which is actually partly true
cos in actual fact, its bcuz my dad passed away...
and so, thats when the torture begins

i nvr realised how strained the relationship between my dad and his siblings
n i can finally see how much they detest my fam
1. they just decide on their own and pull me out of sgp
so i broke my promise to my close friends (i promised that i wud be back)
2. those Bit**es who nvr called me, or even bother knowing me started spreading nasty rumours about me. PLS! they see ntg, but hell, they sure have alot to say, alot to crap about
3. as a result, whole fam affected
all dislike ours, all against us
HOW WONDERFULL
they still have the nerve to pretend to be so 'caring' about my dad after he died
before, they mocked him in his deathbed, dun even care visiting him much in the hospital
and many more

anyways
so now i'm very, extremely burdened about all these
and school didnt manage to make me frgt of all those bitter memories for one bit
...
cant do much i guess
since they are adults, have the 'power' to say all they want
all they wan to crap
but then, most of my uncles n aunts are DUMB enough to believe all the stupid things the 3 'goddess of rumour' said
REALLY DUMB

sigh
and i'm grounded!
cos the transport system here in indo sucks big time
cant go out anywhere
(also bcuz of the stupid rumour)
but then wad hurt me the most is that
noone trust me
but trust them more
even who is suppossed to be the closest to me
my parent
wad an agony

i even thought of suicide b4
but then
it wud b a great sin!
so i'm gonna live up my life to prove those #@%&$%!^!&*!! wrong
i'm so gonna prove them wrong
for now, i'll let u enjoy ur sweet victory, u murders

[it'll take time for me to frgt all these, a huge amt of time. And i'm told to frgive thm. thats the hardest]

4:47 AM;

title:{what has passed is the past}

its been a LONG while since i last updated
shud start complaining about my life again!
lol
stress =.=
school doesnt seem to be as fun as before anymore
its boring
the teachers are kinda...too bossy?
and seriously, the school is having too much of day off!
not that i dun like hols
but!
the teachers are all rushing the syllabus
so dun really care whether we, students, understand or not
as long as they finished their part, done
have to study on our own -.-

ARGH
I MISS SINGAPORE SO MUCH!
ESP the ppl i noe, ppl i've met
sigh
=(
SIAN

in the past, it was homesick
now?
cannot say homesick cos now i'm at home
SINGAPOREsick??

4:28 AM;