Friday, February 29, 2008
title:{}
What is this that I'm feeling?
I'm angry over something which is of no big deal to me before
Yes I never liked people ignoring me
But never to the extend that I'd get angry or frustrated over it
That is so unlike me
Your approach was wrong
You did it in a manner which i never liked
I dunno why I got slightly rilled over it
You told me you needed some space to cool
Fine,I'll give it to you
I won't bother you,that I can do
But the very sight of you spoil my day somehow
No I don't want to like you
I wanna concentrate on my studies
But feelings can't be controlled right?
So just let it be...
Who can wait for this kind of thing?
No I doubt you will
People have to move on
So I'll probably wait till can forget your very existence
It'll take time...
So I need the space too
Not to see you or talk to you
Ignore you all I want
I'll give you back the treatment you gave me
I don't want to be bothered by you
Nor think the slightest about you
NeverLabels: I think I wanna give you a chance...Will you?
4:33 AM;
Monday, February 25, 2008
title:{}
CT was a disaster
I did horribly =(
WANNA CRY!!!
My ranking...
Definitely drop
COmpetition so tough
I can't catch up
Especially with people bothering me
I want to concentrate on my studies
That's the most important thing
Don't take so much of my time already
Right now,my priority is my studies
Nothing else
Wait if you want....
I don't think it'll ever change my thinking?
Haha
Anyway!!!!
I'm in double GOH!!!
The training is killing me...
And I have to keep seeing your face there...
I don't want to play the devil but I guess I have no choice eh?
MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
The AKUMA(DEMON) HAS ARRIVED!!!!
12:43 AM;
title:{}
It's good to be loved
The feeling is nice
But I don't like it too
Another contradictory eh?
I think you are occupying every of my time
For studies,friends, and my time alone
Yes you've helped me plenty
When I'm down,you're there
But I just want my freedom back
I don't want you to disrupt anymore of my studies
And let you 'waste' my time
I realised that I'm not cut out for this yet
And I still prefer my single-hood
And I really mean SINGLE
I want to be like when,even if I'll always be alone
No, wait...
I do like this but
You are somehow bothering me a TAD too much
Guess I should play the devil again
By crushing someone else's heart
And not try to be super nice and ended up even worse than a devil
All in all,I still prefer my style
Of being alone
And not to be bothered by people
Till it affect my studies
Of course I would want company,someone loving me
But this is too much
This is not what I had hoped for
I should be more than contented
With the everlasting love You've always showered me
Help me to overcome such situation
I pray...Labels: I'm refering to someone outside school.SHHHH
12:35 AM;
Friday, February 22, 2008
title:{}
HAHAHAHAHA
OrE! I think I'm good at picking a fight with older people eh?!
Should say that I'm proud of it!
Sarcasticly!
Let it give them a HYPER DUPER impression on me
Like I would care about it
Well I DO! BUT oh what the heck
I can't be bothered by it
NO,I musn't be
Quite a contradicting thinkin,ain't it?
Since forever and yesterday
I've been quite
I mean extremely PISSED
By: 1.People who are having EXTREME MAJOR ATTITUDE PROBLEM
2.People who have stuck up and selfish attitude
3.Someone older who I'm picking a fight with despite of my warning and got entertained
1.I got reprimanded,I mean WE got reprimanded,for something which is not entirely our fault.
Yes we did it last minute
BUT IT WAS YOU SENIORS who put the notice extremely late
And didn't inform us about our duty
WHAT?!
You expect us to be mind reader?!
And you expect us to find a radio like in 1 days time?!
WHAT THE HECK!
You didn't inform us
And you only blame us
HOW FAIR! THX,YOU ARE SO UNDERSTANDING AND NICE
You told us if we cannot handle it,we can tell 2nd power holder
Not trying to make you guys look even worse but
YOU WOULD ONLY TELL US TO FIND THE SOLUTION OURSELF!
IT'd BE A MIRACLE IF YOU WOULD HELP US
AFTER ALL IT WOULD BE OUR DUTY,LIKE WHAT YOU WOULD SAY
YOU only want to look nice,kind and understanding
YUCK!
And anger me the most is this ,"No answer.WANNA RUN TO THE GATE IS IT?!!"
Would you not be pissed after this?
2.YOU! Yes YOU!
Don't want to reply my messages,can
BUT DON'T EXPECT ME TO REPLY YOU AS WELL
I'll give the same dose of medicine you gave,back to yourself
What attitude! 1. & 2. YOUR ATTITUDE SUCKS TO THE CORE
You only sms me when you're bored and only reply when you wanna ask a question
SORRY I WON'T BE SUPER NICE TO ENTERTAIN YOU ANYMORE,PAL
3.Ok,first I'm already pissed by the 2 factors
Then you came,not knowing so I shouldn't really blame you, with some annoying content in the sms
So I tried my best to entertain you since I'm quite nice (yea right!)
But then later on you asked a weird and rather not very nice to hear kind of thing
It get me pretty annoyed
And you got quite annoyed by my answer as well
Though you didn't really wanna show it,I'm sensitive enough to feel it
So I got even more pissed off
Later in msn,you asked
I gave you one word answer
Then you asked what happened
I didn't want to tell bços I'll get even more heated up if I were to tell you
But you insisted and called
Fine I'll entertain you.
I've warned you that I might get even more heated up already,but you insisted
So be it then
And end up I really got more angry
After I told you,you get overly sensitive and asked some sensitive questions which I don't really like
Later on in the convo,I warned you that I might get offensive as in trying to pick a fight and suggest he stopped talking to me till I'm at peace already
But you said it's ok and told me to bring it on
A challenge isn't it?
I know it was not to be taken seriously
But I'm already heated up
So I really sounded as if I picking a fight
Then you asked! "Eh you really trying to pick a fight with me is it?"
DUH!!! I'VE BLOODY WARNED YOU!!!
Now it sounded even more like both of us trying to pick a fight with each other
WHAT THE HECK
IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT THEN DON'T TALK TO ME!!!
DARN YOU ALL
I'm gonna listen to classical music to chill...
6:49 PM;
Saturday, February 16, 2008
title:{}
OMG
I think I'm falling in love all over again with D.Gray Man!!!
Allen Walker is so so cute
And kakkoi!
And so suteki!
random entry!
He is so so cool! and handsome!
Too bad he's not reaL =(
3:48 AM;
title:{What is love?}
This word is so common
You hear ppl very nook and corner declaring this
Especially on valentines eh?
But...this word...has two meanings,no?
Is it the kind you only felt momentarily?
Selfish love?Or selfless love?
This is so complex
Sometimes I wonder...
Do they know what on earth they are saying?
The words they are saying?
The 'love' in this world are mostly selfish love
They love because they are lacking of love,be it parental love or in the society,and hope to receive it in return
To fill the emptyness they couldn't fill
Another thing
Feeling is a part of love
But love with only feelings are not really love
It needs the commitment and sacrifice
This is what I learnt today
7 habits or tendency that will lead to fatal dating:
-dating tends to skip the friendship stage.They just 'hooked' themselves even though they know nothing much of the other party.You musn't musn't skip this b'cos this an important step,to know who you are dating with well enough.
-dating often mistakes with physical relationships.I bet you know what 'physical' means,right?
No need for me to spell it out right?
-dating isolates the couple from other vital relationships,for examples friendships.You tend to neglect your friends and family.Remember this,no matter what you are still a friend to someone, a daughter or a son to a parent.
-dating distracts them from preparing towards the future.Feels as if it would be best if time stopped forever?
-belittle the gift that certain Someone has given us,the state of singleness.Being single
ain't that bad ya know?There's benefits and happiness of being single!THERE'S MORE FREEDOM!Use it to serve HIM!! Don't us teenagers want freedom? The proper freedom i mean.So shouldn't feel bad or have a concept that being in a relationship will definitely give you happiness.
-dating creates artificial environment, you can't see the bad points of your date,somehow like an obssesion?
-it becomes an end,not moving backward nor forward,stagnant
If you're not ready to commit,don't be involved in a relationship
True love patient and sincere
And perfectly(because we have received the perfect love from HIM!) imperfect (because we are imperfect humans)
Ask me for more! If you really want to know,that is... =)=)=)=)=)=)=)
2:22 AM;
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
title:{Living in my own past}
I'm pissed
With people and myself
Guess I'm disappointed at both
Someone told me "this is not about learning lessons..
its bout picking yourself up
you're just a coward living in your own past..
not facing up to your problems directly..
and facing the world everyday with that glum and awful face of yours..
and when other people have different views..
you think everyone's of a same kind and fails to try again..
and as always there's always someone who care for you..
from deep within their hearts..
life is full of setbacks..
you gave up on yourself..
dun give me'...' cause you should be disgusted by the way you look at yourself..
face life positively.."
Ya I'm a coward living in my own past
Unable to let go,trapped inside
But think, you think I've never tried to get out of there?
Do you think I liked it there?Being like this?
Do you know? The many times I tried getting myself out of there,
there are noone to support me?
Instead they pushed me back,locked me inside that cage
I wanted so much
To let all go
But that very moment I had those thoughts,
My friends proved me wrong
Unconsciously or consciously,its the same not?
Maybe what I do is always wrong
My method is wrong
My actions are wrong
The way I expresses things are wrong
Everything I do is wrong
And nothing I do is ever right to the others I know
Let them see all the bad sides of me
And let them say whatever things that they want too...
I,on the other hand,will do what I can to get things straight
3:17 AM;
Friday, February 1, 2008
title:{I am who am I.Don't take me as some other person nor compare me to others}
I guess I'm disappointed?
After all,people are comparing me to others?
I am me.I'm not that other person
Stop comparing me to her
She's not me,so she's definitely not like me
I hate it the most when people compare me with others
Saying,"She's much more gentle than you."
So what? This is how I expresses things
If you got a problem with me not being gentle,fine.
Don't socialize with me,don't be friends with me.
I'm fine being alone.Pretty used to it and it doesn't matter
I thought you were different than the rest
Well I guess being gentle on the outside appeal to guys alot?
Gosh,I sound like I'm in love with that person or something?
But actually I don't.Not at all,just a good friend
However,I am so not gonna let this affect me
Since it's usual for me to be called rough or violent and stuff
But hello! You hit my head so hard,even if its a joke, so my reflex is to hit you back as well
And I'm not always like that ok?
WHATEVER
I really really detest others who are comparing me to some other person
First my parents,my relatives and now my friends
So where do you want me to turn to?
What i want is someone to accept me for the way I am,
and not comparing me,saying that who is better than me and stuff
Yes I know I HAVE flaws
But if you can't accept it and give me time to change,
I wouldn't call you as a true friend
3:44 AM;