Going into a state of depression soon I guess
I may be still smiling on the outside
But inside,I'm crying out for something

Cold,selfish,uncaring,heartless,too serious,too prideful in everything I do
That's the thing I hate the most of myself
Such ugly and revolting characters

Kyo wa ne,I sorta 'surveyed' 3 ppl
The question was: Which one do you think is more selfish?(1)to keep your own problem,worries,troubles to yourself without telling anyone & get stressed up,end up worrying ppl (which is unexpected)or (2)share everything out and might ended up troubling them with MY OWN problems and stuff,just to make myself better?
Shall not say the names of those,shall i??

Ans 1.(3) self created way,tell half,keep half.Like simple problems can say. Complicated stuff don't say,but can tell also but must solve faster then him (3)= (1)+(2)... It's quite impossible I think...Haha

Ans 2.(2).It is unfair to the other party,esp when it doesn't concern them at all.It may had been better for you (*moi),but not for them obviously.Sharing and chatting are fine but don't expect solutions or ask what to do.It just adds on their burden and gave them more stress.Personally,I believe in this as well.That's why I REFUSED to tell you both.But it seems that noone understand besides these 3 person who I asked?But kinda expected since these 3 are probably the closest to me(though the 1st one doesn't really make sense but I get it somehow)...I'm a tough nut to crack,you see...I don't ever want to burden others of my own stuff.It's mine to begin with.But this end up straining friendships.Darn it

Anyway,ans 3.None since both are selfish.For (1),your friends would be worried if you don't tell them anything (which is so very true)& you (*moi here) would blow up one day because too stressed.Then you blowing up might hurt other (which is definitely so).For (2),it's good to share but you shouldn't expect solutions from them (which is not what I hoped as well) & ask about their problems too.That way they won't feel as though that only you always pouring out to them & only them comforting you.This one make sense the most.Yeah both are selfish,I just realised that after I got this feedback today.

So selfish of me,only thinking about myself all the time
Not about others
Xp also reminded me that during the kukup trip,even though he tried talking to me already,she emphasised that "I'm very cold"...
I guess I'm just staking too much pride on myself
Which is wrong
Too cold and uncaring at times
Mean and heartless at times
I know that but I still doesn't change
I feel so hypocrytic (sp??)
Xp also said there area actually ppl who are concerned and worried about me
And seems that I'm in a state of denial? And maybe taking them for granted
Too dependent on others' kindness?
Mo wakaranai

My mind is wrecked
I just want to say thanks for those who were concerned and showing them
Though I sorta throw them away?Just like that?
Dumb moi
And I'm grateful for those ppl?And wanna apologise for everything
I'm making everyone looked bad and I'm the good one
When it's the opposite?Hah...
So sorry

Life is so complicated
Our ratio is too high to be comprehended
I dun want,because of this problem that lies with me to affect friendships and stuff
I think I'm really REALLY NOT good with people
Especially when they are being too nice to me
It's so weird and unusual?
For me that is

Long and naggy post eh?

feilicia
10 june 1992
maybe short temper at times n level headed at times .
wanna run away from this 'home' =.=
wanna learn violin real badly!!!
i want to be taller!
missing SINGAPORE PPL!
sleepy head

Layout
RAHH;{/designer}
CACP.CSGBB.MASEXY.JENKINS2.0.{/font}




this is mostly for me to complain,vent my anger or shouting out
what's here, remains here.
and be discreet
tag if you pls
if you are here to spam.
spamming is 101% ILLEGAL. constructing feedbacks are welcomed though


{/YAN(x2)}
{/WEE KIAT}
{/CHANG YEN}
{/NADIAH}
{/AIR RIFLE}
{/GB 10TH COY}
{/ANII}
{/Pei San}
{/NAME}






- January 2008
- February 2008
- March 2008
- April 2008
- May 2008
- June 2008
- July 2008
- August 2008
- November 2008
- April 2009
- May 2009
- August 2009

Click to see my memories <3